


When I Was Younger

by Traw



Category: The Streets of San Francisco
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-04 09:50:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11552658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Traw/pseuds/Traw
Summary: ‘I wish that I knew what I know nowWhen I was younger.’The chorus of the new song that was currently being played over and over again on the radio replayed in Mike’s head, stirring up memories of what used to be and what will never be.





	1. Chapter 1

_'I wish that I knew what I know now_

_When I was younger.’_

The chorus of the new song that was currently being played over and over again on the radio replayed in Mike’s head as he grabbed a dish towel and took the tuna casserole out of the oven, juggling the small, extremely hot, casserole dish in his hands in an attempt not to drop it before he put it onto the table. He swallowed hard, trying hard to push the words that had haunted him all day out of his head as he grabbed the large spoon and dished some of the steaming food onto his dinner plate before he turned and opened the fridge, grabbing out a beer.

_‘I wish I knew what I know now_

_When I was stronger.’_

Slamming the fridge door closed a little harder than he had meant to, Mike grabbed his plate, a knife and fork and his beer and headed back into the living room, placing his dinner onto the coffee table in front of his favorite chair before he crossed to the television and turned it on, muting the volume. He was not interested in actually watching it but he hoped that the images on the screen would  help to keep the loneliness, that was threatening to overwhelm him tonight, away.

Turning, he slowly walked back to his chair and sat down, before reaching for his dinner and placing it on his lap.

Jeannie had called on the weekend claiming she had decided on the spur of the moment to come home for the week but he knew that Jeannie’s sudden desire to come and see him wasn’t a spur of the moment decision, that she was worried about him spending tonight alone. A small smile tugged at his lips as he remembered her protests when he told her that she did not need to come, that he knew she was studying for her end of semester exams the following week and besides he was okay and in all likelihood, he and Steve would most likely to be working a case tonight, anyway.

His smile grew as he remembered Steve’s own attempts earlier today to entice him to go watch the boxing and maybe grab a pizza afterwards. The invitation had been hard to decline but deep down, he really just wanted to be alone tonight.

He shook his head and gave a soft, fond chuckle as he stabbed his fork into the cheesy pasta and snagged a piece of tinned tuna before lifting it up to his mouth. It was obvious that his daughter and his partner had both got together and tried to do some colluding, determined that he would not spend the night alone.

Chewing the mouthful of food, he shook his head and chuckled again, Helen would be so proud to see just what a loving, smart and beautiful woman their daughter had grown into and he had no doubts that she would have been as fond of his young partner as he was.

_‘I wish that I knew what I know now_

_When I was younger.’_

The haunting and unwelcome lyrics crept back into his thoughts as his eyes drifted towards the photo of Helen, that sat proudly beside on the bookcase. A single tear trickled down his face as he swallowed the mouthful of now tasteless casserole and stared up at her smiling face. It was hard to believe that she had been gone for twelve years, hard to believe that he never got to say goodbye to her or tell her that he loved her one final time.

His bottom lip trembled and he felt his chest tightened as he stared at her beautiful smiling face, that same smiling face that he had instantly fallen in love that the very first day that he had met her….

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

He remembered the very first day that he had met her at a basketball game. He had been the star player of the George Washington High School basketball team, and in that particular game was being targeted by the other team. The game had been rough with lots of shoves and pushes as each team tried hard to gain and keep the lead. It had been in the last quarter with the clock winding down when he had managed to intercepted the ball during a throw by the other team. He was just about to take a shot at the goal when he was elbowed hard across the face by an over-enthusiastic member of the other team who was more intent on stealing the ball back then where he flung his arm.

He could still hear the sickening crunch as he heard the too familiar noise of his nose breaking and he could still remember the pain that dropped him to his knees as his eyes began to water and he grabbed his nose as the blood ran freely through his fingers just like the last time he had broken it in a rough basketball game.

Placing his fork back down on his plate, Mike unconsciously lifted his hand to his nose and felt the bulbous lump that had been the cost of two rough basketball games that had resulted in him suffering his nose being broken twice as small smile tugged at his lips and he continued to stare up at Helen’s photo.

The one thing he remembered most about that game was not how close the scores were, or how rough it was, or even the elbow that broke and misshaped his nose, but the small delicate hand that pulled his own hand away and replaced it with a white laced handkerchief and the pretty, concerned brown eyes he found himself looking into as he stared at the most beautiful girl who shyly smiled and told him to lean his head back before she attempted to help him to his feet to lead him from the court. He knew that she was probably not the only one who had led him from the basketball court that day but she was the only one that he had noticed and the only one who would remain in his memory of that day’s game.

It had taken him a few days to find out who she was after she disappeared when the coach had come over and ruined the moment. And even a few more days before he finally managed to work up the courage to go across to her locker to return her freshly washed handkerchief and talk to her. He had always been popular at school and had found making friends easy but she was special. She was the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen.

His chuckled out loud as he remembered that first awkward and highly embarrassing conversation. He had finally worked up the courage, with a few well-meaning shoves from several of his friends to go and talk to her. Closing his eyes, he could still remember the way she flicked her dark chocolate hair back over her shoulder as she turned and looked at him in shock and surprise when he tried to act all nonchalant and cool by leaning against her locker, almost catching her hand in the locker as the door slammed closed. He had stuttered out a nasally apology, his nose still swollen and both his eyes still black from the elbow on the basketball court, before he had shoved the handkerchief back into her hand as he thanked her for her help and asked her to be his prom date, all in a single breath.

He could not believe it when she had smiled and said yes. And his chuckle grew louder as he remembered how he had turned and began to almost run back to where his friends were waiting for him around the corner before she had a chance to change her mind only to hear her musical voice call his name. He could still feel the sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach as he forced himself to stop and slowly turn around, expecting her to tell him that she had decided not to go with him after all, but instead she just smiled as she said, “If you’re going to be my date to the prom, I guess you should know who you are taking. Hi, I’m Helen Stein.”

And with those few words, the two of them had become inseparable …


	3. Chapter 3

His smile faded away with the memory as his eyes drifted back down to the cold, barely touched plate of food he held on his lap. He sighed and placed it back down on the coffee table and reached for his beer. He took a long sip as he settled back to watch an old 1945 movie titled ‘The Valley of Decision’. From the little he could gather, from what he was watching, the movie revolved around a young Irish house maid who had fallen in love with the son of her employer, who was the owner of the local steel mill.

Taking another sip of his beer as he watched the flickering images on the screen, his mind wandered back to the three years when he had worked at a steel mill just like his father had before him. Although he had graduated from high school with top of his class high marks, his dreams of an athletic scholarship at university were dashed after he refused to play any other sports beside basketball. He could still see Helen shake her head and could hear her softly but lovingly admonish him about being so hard headed and stubborn, too stubborn sometimes for his own good. But he could also see the pride in her eyes as she took the rejection letter from the university from his hand and placed it face- down on the table before she rose onto tip toes and kissed him lightly on the lips, as she whispered to him she never wanted him to change.

So, while Helen went to nursing school, he had gone to work in the mills. It might have been hard work but it was also good money, and he when he started as a laborer, he was as earning the very respectable amount of $3.49 a day. He had worked hard as his father had taught him, putting everything he had into his job during the day before coming home of a night and spending most of his evenings with Helen, when she was not working herself. The bosses had rewarded his hard work by promoting him to the position of bricklayer, and with the promotion came better pay and the opportunity for him to put away the extra money he was earning for a very special surprise he was planning for the woman he loved.

But after three years of hard work in the steel mill, he had found himself wondering more and more if this was the only job that he was going to be doing with his life. He wanted to offer Helen more when he asked her to be his wife.

He took another sip of beer before he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the back of the chair, a small smile curling up each corner of his lips as he remembered that night that he had made his decision about what he wanted to do with the rest of his life.

He had been waiting for Helen outside of the hospital where she was working, and had gone down on one knee as she emerged out of the hospital doors, and in front of all her friends, her work colleagues, doctors, nurses and hospital visitors, he had nervously asked her to be his wife.

Even now, he could still hear her infectious laughter as she told their friends about his proposal, of her coming out of the hospital after a particular trying shift, to see him kneel down onto one knee in front of her in the rain, water dripping down his upturned face. Her smile widened as she remembered the moment and her voice grew softer as she described how he opened the small velvet box that contain the most beautiful diamond ring that she had ever seen as he asked her to be his wife in front of everyone.

At this point of her story, she would always look across at him, making him feel that he was the only one in that room at the moment, her eyes bright with love, her face the same young fresh face who had stared at him in a combination of shock and excitement that day. He could still hear Helen’s beautiful, soft voice as she told everyone around her as she continued to look at him that her answer had been a definite ‘yes’, that she never even had to think about it.

They had married in the spring, in a small, intimate church wedding ceremony, surrounded by family and close friends after she had graduated from nursing school and they had spent the summer together searching for the perfect home in which to start their new life.

**Author's Note:**

> * Lyrics from “Ohh La la” sung by Rod Stewart which was released in 1973.
> 
> While CBS own the characters and the rights to the show, the head canon memories and my fictional background for the SOSF characters in this story are part of my SOSF fanon world and are NOT part of the shared SOSF fanon. I do NOT give permission for any of my head canon memories to be used as shared fandom fanon without being asked first. 
> 
> Thank you to JoanWilder who inspired this story by saying she would love to read a story with some of Mike - pre- Streets Of San Francisco.


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